Discussion about this post

User's avatar
Maegan Heil's avatar

In my early 20s, after I had graduated college by the skin of my teeth (after I’d already walked in the ceremony—then received a letter that I wasn’t graduating due to poor GPA—then begged the English head to please oh please just let me be done so I didn’t have to spend another semester peeing into empty popcorn bags and throwing them out the window rather than risk bumping into peers in the hallway of my dorm), I happened to be visiting my aunt Kim at the same time her publisher acquaintance was over. Aunt Kim introduced me to him as a writer, and the first thing he asked was, “Do you like to read?” I don’t know if I was trying to sound cool or smart or if I was still messed up from college, but whatever the reason, I said No. Almost as quickly as the word left my mouth, I knew it was the wrong answer. Nor was it fully true. I did love to read, yes, but not since high school when I had time to sneak a flashlight under my sheets and binge on “easy” authors like R.L. Stine (yes, yes, I admit it) and other genre fiction, which felt like an indulgence to me rather than work. Trying to read in college, if I’m being honest, my eyes glazed over more than half the time (likely connected to all the D’s and D minuses I earned). Aside from the rude awakening of going from Podunk, Michigan public school to smarty smartsville at a pretty decent university where it seemed like my peers read the SAT vocabulary list for fun, any reading that didn’t form a movie in my brain was like staring at a jumble of unrelated words. No comprehension. Back at Aunt Kim’s, this publisher guy kind of chuckled, and I think I may have tried to backpedal by saying something along the lines of, I like to read what I write—of course, digging my trench of embarrassment even deeper and nailing my coffin shut. This memory has haunted me for so long I’m not even sure how much of it is true anymore. But what is true is I can relate to feeling the knowledge gap I felt back in my 20’s And still do, even at 40. Your post is encouraging. And so, I’m off to read. Thanks Junot.

Expand full comment
Andrew Boryga's avatar

Inspiring stuff, as always. Olin was my spot at Cornell, too. The media library downstairs. Always quiet and far less populated than that first floor. I have vivid memories of wandering the stacks upstairs and pulling down books. Thank you for recalling that magical, and, at times, frustrating period of stumbling around, in search of answers.

Expand full comment
5 more comments...

No posts